Decades Pasts... And Counting

 

 

Decades Past...

Life in the Review Living on the Streets

20 Years of Life, or rather the merest hint of what had been a Life.

Shelled out and Shadowed in form and existence.

Heading into my 21^st Holiday and Winter Season, while living

in the worst Decade of the worst year in our History, as our lives are

pawned off and removed, all for Political gain at our expense.

All of our Inherent rights, our Constitutional Rights, the Amendments,

Our Freedoms, Our Civil Liberties, Our God given right to Breathe....

all of it has been forcibly removed from our lives.

21 Holiday and Winter Seasons on the streets... with an untold more to

follow in its wake. That's how long I have been forced to live, or rather

merely exist behind and underneath the Fumes of Humanity.

Our Health, Our Immunity, Our Well-Being.... and Our very Lives....

Our Bodies and Our Lives are not Government Issue.

Yet, they have finally achieved what they have been wanting

to do for a real long time now, and that is taking

total and complete control over our lives and how we live.

Everything we do, everywhere we go.... all now extensively

restricted. Where we go, what we eat, how we socialize and

interact with others.... Our very Humanity being wiped

from the face of the Earth in every regard.

Forcibly forbidden to live our lives in any meaningful way.

No longer allowed to live. No longer allowed to do anything or

go anywhere. Several months into the forced Lockdown, we are

still not allowed to move freely, or go where we need to go.

As my life on the streets continues to unfold.... each year

becoming worse than the ones before... and 2020 is turning into

the worst year in the history of our lives.  As more and more is

being restricted and forbidden for us to do, life itself is losing

its meaning and purpose. 2020 is a First of many things...

the first year of a new decade, the first year Life itself

has been cancelled indefinitely and everything in it, the

first year where our lives will never be the same.

Living in the center of the Orwellian Nightmare that never ends.

  Facing my 21st Winter and Holiday season on the streets.

One of the hardest things to deal with living on the streets, aside

from the harsh elements... Is having to clean up in icy cold water

in low temperatures...20s, 30s, and 40s. Waking covered in a thick

layer of frost, like frosting on a cake. Having to douse my head in water

that is much colder, than it is outside, like liquid ice, along with washing

my body in freezing water. Taking ice bathing to a whole new level. And

repeatedly having my oxygen and airflow forcibly taken from me all

year with the forced face masks that are suffocating and unbreatheable,

has been making things much worse to contend with,

especially in regards to my health.

Infections happening out of nowhere that won't heal, cuts,

scrapes, bruising happening with higher frequency, and sores that

stay open and raw as a direct result of oxygen deprivation, over

and over again. It's bad enough having to battle the effects of living

on the streets...being a physically challenged female and Being readily denied

proper rest and nutrition, now having to battle ever-increasing

health challenges as a direct result of Government imposed actions.

20 Years Now.... and Still

20 years now...September 1, 2020. Twenty years and counting without a home.

Twenty years plus forced to live on the streets... More than 2 DECADES.

And this year, the worst I have ever experienced.

The draining, soul emptying life outside. The excruciating pain taking up

residence in my right thumb radiating through my hand, wrist and

down my arm. My thumb massively swollen and pointing out from the pad in

a sharp triangle,  the pain is excruciating. The nail bed has a black line across my 

top of my thumb with the left side of the nail black and pale yellow with and ashy

color on the right side. My thumb is swollen and hard. 

 

Making my right hand unusable for anything. It is interfering with sleeping,

interfering with using the restroom, cleaning up, changing...even just sitting.

Feeling like my thumb is being smashed nonstop with spikes being jabbed

through in every angle, while being butchered at the same time.

This anniversary happens amidst the Pandemic (Plannedemic..?),

where the Government is destroying our Immunity. Forcing us to be

muzzled 24/7 in suffocating, unbreatheable face masks...and removing everything

that made life worth living...everything has been taken away...all self serve has been

eliminated; soup, salad, coffees, bulk items, sports, events. Millions of Private

businesses forced to close permanently, while none of the Government

Offices or businesses harmed at all. Forcing social isolation and distance,

barricading our lives from each other.

So with the Government taking control over our lives and the influx of health

issues that has come about as a direct result of the health damaging

mandates forced and imposed upon us and our lives, has

turned this year into a living nightmare. Decades on the streets; a

nightmare unto itself...then everything compiling on top of that. Truly

the WORST year I have ever experienced in any and all regard.

 

 

A Veteran of the Streets...

A Veteran of the Streets….

I am a long time veteran…. A veteran of living, or rather merely existing,

around the periphery of life. Due to physical challenges, I was never

allowed to serve in the military, but you do not need to serve in the

armed forces to become a veteran of life.

Though, instead of being honored for my service,

I’m repeatedly told my very presence is illegal. No one would

want the veteran status of living on the streets for decades.

It has long since stopped being days, or months, or even years….

Living Life on the streets has turned into decades, as I have been

forced to live in decades on the streets. Seen as an obtrusion to others,

and a threat, instead of a living, feeling, breathing being.

Anchors drifting in the sea of nowhere. The threads; the barest of threads

at that, fraying more with each passing moment. Life is viewed differently

when you are not part of society, but rather sitting, or in some cases, lying

around the seams of society… we are certainly treated

differently from being part of “regular” society.

I never set out to become a veteran of the streets.

But being readily and continually denied and refused

the services and assistance I need, has forced me to become one.

Much like the military veterans who are denied, year after endless year,

of all the services and assistance they need. So I know the battle of

endurance of going through this screwed up system, one that wants you to just

give up and quit. A lot have done just that. Suicides from veteran’s are

at an all time high, and a large portion of that is being denied their service

and help after returning from war. Not being listened to, not being heard,

being dismissed completely and just plain flat out ignored. It is the same when

your life is lived on the streets; no one wants to listen, you are not

considered “society”, and not clumped in the “Human” group.

But really, given the way the “Human” group acts and behaves….

It is really not a group I want to be part of. It is because of the “Human” group

that the services and assistance needed has been denied and refused.

It is because of the “Human” group that I have been forced to live my life

on the streets. It is because of the “Human” group that I have experienced

hundreds of bouts of food poisoning because of people’s gross non-hygienic

practices when preparing food for others, which some have done purposely.

And their practices have caused permanent damage through my digestive tract,

I am left paying the heavy, excruciating painful price of their actions.

So I am glad not to be associated with the “Human” group.

My veteran status should not be one anyone should be forced to endure

or become a part of. And like military veterans, those of us living out our

lives on the streets…. You lose hope and no longer look forward to life, in any regard.

Just serving your time until your time is up and you are sent “Home”, one way

or another. Being sentenced for a crime you never committed by this “Human” group.

It is truly sad that Veterans on the streets, and Veterans of life living on the

streets are treated in a similar manner. Our voices muted and covered up,

our experiences closer together than not. Experiencing the worst of the underside of this

“Human” group. Humanity…. Where has it gone to? Does it even exist?

When humanity turns their backs on those of us on the streets,

regardless of how we came to be out here, our stories start to mesh together,

blending and becoming a single story, where one starts and another

ends becomes one and can no longer be separated. Our battleground becomes

the streets, and the “Human” group wages war on us daily for the

very presence of our presence that the “Human” group imposed on us.

We live in a war zone all year long.

Being a veteran of life on the streets takes a

tremendous toll on your life, on your heart, on your mind….

And soon ... your body…. Denied the nourishment of life; Love.

So is it any wonder that no one forced to live on the streets, thrives?

How can one thrive when your very existence and mere presence is swept

under the rug; ignored, dismissed, and unwelcome?

Who thrives without nourishment? But that nourishment is kept from

us when life is cast out to lived on the streets. So instead of thriving,

we become hardened inside and out. While our insides corrode on the

deepest levels and seeps into the very core of our being.

Life on the streets changes

who you are as a person, from the inside out.