In Residence on the Streets.... Thanskgiving 2018

Thanksgiving.... 2018

In Residence of Life on the Streets

Once more, the Holidays are settling upon us and the end of the year is

closing in quick. Another year of life on the streets, and another Holiday Season

underway, and experienced again, on the streets. Another gathering of a good

stack of books from the library in preparation for reading through the Holidays.

When you live your life on the streets, Holidays take on different meaning.

Usually, they are just another day in the life on the streets, with the exception

of having a more challenging time finding places to cleanup, since more

places are closed, and more often than not, parks that have a restroom, are closed.

Not the parks themselves, but usually the restroom remains locked.

So cleanup is generally taken place at drinking fountains, if the fountains

have not been turned off for the season. But living on the streets,

you learn to adapt to circumstances well beyond and out of your control.

And you learn how to navigate the choppy waters of life on the streets. You

become an expert at adapting, through constant change and the forever

unknown in every moment of the day and night.

But when it comes to Holidays, it can be at times, some of the Best times

you experience, and at the same time, some of the Worst times imaginable.

Balancing the two is never an easy task. The feelings of abandonment

tend to flood through your thoughts, as memory brings back snippets of

Holidays past.... sometimes good, heartfelt feeling emerge, and then some not

so good, that bring you down the rabbit hole. This year has brought a mix

of everything. But overall, this has been one of the

worst years I have experienced.

The assault of searing, burning pain ripping through my body at every moment,

continues to increase and takes my focus away from anything else, and it is interfering

with life, my life, in every regard. What I can do, where I can go is greatly

being hindered by the never-ending pain and discomfort that has always been my life.

Been wondering my whole life when the “Healing” that is supposed to be so

natural and so ready to heal is finally going to kick into gear and begin.

Because it is not working, much like this body I was received in.

Pain makes it all but impossible to really enjoy life.

And unfortunately, pain has been my life's companion since before I was born.

I have much to be grateful for, though.... and I write everyday little things I am

grateful for along the way. But sometimes finding things to be grateful for

when you live 24/7 without a home, and all the challenges faced while living

on the streets, adding to that all the physical stuff I have to contend with,

especially this year that has hit extremely hard, makes it hard to be grateful.

But I am grateful to have slight respites of the onslaught of pain... where at times,

it finally lessens and eases up on the stronghold it has on me, ever so slightly, allowing me a

little breathing room, before it hits harder and takes my breath away, once more.

More things I am grateful for;

– I am grateful I am kept safe through the night, and alerted by the animals
around me when something or someone is making trouble.

– I am grateful to have the means to sometimes cook my own meals,
which makes a tremendous difference on my health.

– I am grateful animals find me as non-threatening and allowing me to stay

in their homes with them. And that they are drawn to me. Because my

feathered and furry friends nourish my heart and soul in ways that

keep me taking another step forward, giving meaning to my days.

– I am grateful to be able to read and write, and both have become like air to me.

– I am grateful to have clothes to wear, and sometimes the means to wash

my clothes at the laundry mat instead of by hand in the sinks.

– I am grateful to have soap to use to stay clean.
– I am grateful for the great thermos I have that keeps hot water and
coffee hot for several hours.

– I am grateful for the hand warmers, and emergency blankets that

keep me warm through the coldest nights.

– I am grateful I can wash my hair in the sink, albeit

in icy cold water.

– I am grateful to have water to drink and the containers to

keep it fresh and safe.

– I am grateful there are libraries around and I am able to utilize them fully.

So there is many things and much to be grateful for,

even when you live on the streets.

Taking the time to recall and reflect on all you have to be

grateful for, you find more to be grateful for.

This Holiday Season is my 19^th one on the streets... each one turning more

and more into a mirror of the ones before. Carbon copies of Holidays Past.

At times, the one thing that changes, is the weather.

Thanksgiving on the Streets.. Just another day in the life.