The Longest Year...

The Longest Year...

It's been a long year. A very rough year. Definitely one of the

worst ones yet. On the streets, the years stretch and

pull you to breaking. Decades of life gone by the wayside,

taken from me by and through the illegal actions of a

despicable landlord. Years on the streets, the roughest punishments,

and phycially one of the worst I have experienced while layers

upon layers of pain and suffering this body piles on top of more.

Too much to list, because the list keeps growing.

And Financially, December 2019 was the most draining

month I have ever experienced. By a Huge Margin.

Decades lost, and taken from me.

Dealing with the hand I was dealt, but have never been

happy with the draw, and certainly not the game I wanted to play.

Deflated.... is what life on the streets does to you.

It goes way beyond draining... it is a constant draining of life, while

you feel like your body and soul are being drowned in wet cement,

that is slowly hardening and drying you from the inside out

But life goes on automatically. Deterred by nothing.

Leaving me, and so many others in its wake.

Losing all Fatih and Hope of ever having my own home...

of ever being Safe and warm and finally be able to let my guard down.

Life has shattered that illusion. I have heard it said that we don't go

through our experience for us, but rather to help others through it

down the line. How is my being forced to live indefinitely on the streets

happening so I could help others down the road going to work?

Tell them to be sure to get hooked on drugs and alcohol,

become chemically dependent, have dependent children and

be sure to be an illegal Immigrant.... and they will receive

Carte Blanche in services? Otherwise, you become a

non-existent being.... who is refused and denied

the services, support and help you need.

Tell them of the challenges you face as a single, physically

challenged female? Of the Harassment and hassling from

Law Enforcement for just being present and having no place to go?

Inform them of the struggles to keep moving forward? What and how

would my circusmtances and experiences benefit others, in any regard?

Especially in terms of living outside without a home for so long, that

your only existence is that of being Homeless, and the

only thing you become known for?

Tell them how you are no longer seen, no longer

treated as a living, breathing, feeling being?

Tell them how living on the streets is fully consuming?

Tell them they will learn about what real need is? What true hunger is?

Tell them that nothing can prepare them for life

on the streets, even being fully and completely immersed in it?

Or find some way to start a Non-Profit for the Homeless that is

different than anything else around, one that actually HELPS the

Homeless, and prevent them from having to go through the endless

nightmare I have been forced to endure for so long?

A place that teaches LIFE Skills to people; Good Hygiene, Basic

Cooking Skills, Teach them how to Respect themselves

and others, How to open a Checking and Savings Account,

How to grocery shop, how to communicate with others,

and Lift others up, instead of kicking them further

into the curb. A place that actually cares about people.

Not a place that treats them as criminals for not 

having a home, and not mired in the red tape swamp

of bureaucratic muck to receive the most dismal of

"services" that is meant more for the facility and 

their overhead than in the assistance people

living on the streets need.  Really need.

A place with hot showers, hot meals, a listening ear,

laundry services, and a place to offer a reprieve from the

elements, even for a short while. A place where people

are seen and treated as people... not property, not things,

but living, breathing, human beings that have talents

and gifts to share with the world.

Perhaps that is the reason for my Longest Year. What my life,

and all my experiences since birth has been about.

The Longest Year... A Lifetime without end.