Saturday, February 16, 2008

In Hunger's Wake

~ In Hunger’s Wake~
Falling Upwards, Part 2;
A Life From The Streets



The high price we’re forced to pay for those of us without the luxury and privilege of being surrounded by those four precious walls and a solid roof over our heads, aside from being accosted, is the ever-present gnawing hunger eating away at us from the inside-out.

Some trying to fill the endless void through alcohol and drugs, but merely cover the pain and the pangs of a stomach sitting empty too long, for only the briefest of time, so more is consumed, and the cycle begins…

We’re denied access to food because we don’t have the high paying jobs required in order to be ‘allowed’ to eat. We’re told we cannot eat unless we’re “working for it, we can’t just give you food”. Your life and livelihood are completely discarded when you’re homeless, quite literally and physically on the cold hard streets, disabled and have no means to put a roof over your head, much less the means to purchase that very essential ingredient called food.

The very rights we’re supposed to be guaranteed are taken away because we don’t have the means to ‘purchase’ them. The right to food, clothing and shelter are viewed and treated as ‘special privileges’, not as our basic, essential rights required to live! The state insists on denying food to those of us that don’t have the means to get the food elsewhere. The ones who make and earn the big bucks are the ones given, fully and completely, the benefits and services on silver-platters, along with all the trimmings—

The more in need an individual is, the less they will receive of even the bare necessities (of life), like food and water! Then they wonder ‘why’ so many on the streets are in such poor health-- Those of us still above ground, that is.

They have no problem giving food to those that don’t need it, but readily refuse to give it to those who do. That’s probably WHY so many turn to the drugs and alcohol; trying to block-out that ever-present empty gnawing eating you from the inside. Compromising our health, jeopardizing our lives. Having to watch as everyone eats all around you. The cruel irony unfolding before you…

When you’re forced out on the streets, society turns a cold shoulder and deaf ears to those of us in need. Eye contact is always averted as we become invisible to their warmth and humanity, then transformed in their eyes to the trash and debris so easily discarded and left by the wayside.

Having no viable income, or roof over our heads, we’re not given the ‘privilege’ of being allowed to live and breathe as human beings, much less allowed ‘to be present in society’.

We’re denied the key elemental ingredients of life~ Not offered or given food, health care, the warm embrace of love; but instead we’re given intolerable, hostile attitudes, ugly talk, violent and rude behaviors, desolation~ Yet, we’re supposed ‘to get used to it, since this is what “we deserve”’.

Being so openly exposed to all the elements, the illnesses people pass to us from their colds, flues and other viruses-- Compromising our health even further. But that’s right, our health doesn’t count, our lives don’t matter—

Why is it when that roof and those walls are taken from your life, your life is suddenly taken from you and your presence is no longer welcomed? (in society???) We are still the SAME people, still the SAME person; it’s only our living arrangements and circumstance that have changed. But the moment that roof is taken away we’re treated so horribly and shown nothing but contempt-- WHY?????

What have we done to elicit such treatment, such responses? Why do people stereo-type us so severely, when they don’t even want to bother to find out why we’re there? But then, that would mean that they would have to get close enough to us to ask, to actually ‘talk’ with us, and since we’re considered so very contagious from this nasty, infectious d-i-s-e-a-s-e we somehow acquired the moment we were put on the streets, people are too afraid they’ll ‘catch it’, so they don’t come close enough to find out, unless it’s to show their true colors, which is not a pretty site to behold.

Paying the price of what others do TO you. Your life is ripped apart as you become everyone’s target-- Your information and, ultimately, your life, taken by force, stolen from your person, then used against you and YOU’RE the one charged and held responsible for their actions. Your life dismissed as inconsequential, so people can do whatever they choose knowing they will walk away Scott-free and not be charged in any way, shape or form to take and destroy someone else’s life-- Using our information, our lives as their own.

Cops are more than reluctant to make out any reports when you are not seen as real, much less of importance. They don’t want to ‘waste their time on those that aren’t “Solid Upstanding Citizens” in their eyes’. And those of us on the streets aren’t seen as citizens, but rather the lowest form cast (out) from society, from life…

When you no longer have a solid roof over your head, your rights are no longer afforded to you, much less even acknowledged, in any capacity.

These so-called programs in place are NOT geared toward actually helping those in need, but rather used as a sort of punishment for NOT being gainfully employed and contributing to society in a positive and effective manner. The less you have, the more you are penalized for it!

Most of us on the streets are NOT out here by choice, we didn’t ‘CHOOSE’ to be homeless, have our homes taken from us. But, unfortunately, it’s where the majority of us are forced to stay-- The longer you’re out here, the less likely you will ever see a roof over your head again, much less having the safety and security it affords you. You are on constant vigil, 24/7, never knowing if and when you can safely close your eyes to get even a little rest-- Will you still be alive to re-open them?

Being surrounded by nature’s beauty and man’s fury, a volatile and harsh combination. Animals have become my solace, my confidants, my companions-- They surround me, alert me, keep me warm on the coldest nights, give me a reason to face another day, another night! They lift my spirits and share my pain. They make life bearable in an unbearably cruel world—

They are my shadows and closest friends. They are the ONE good thing that has come from being put out on the streets! I’ve also had the opportunity of meeting some truly incredible people that I might not have been fortunate enough to encounter otherwise; both on the streets as well as those rare few who are not that have brought the warmth of humanity, however briefly, back into my life, along with an added glimpse of HOPE~

Life is a continual flux of catch-22’s. You cannot get a job without having a roof over your head; you cannot get a roof over your head without a job. No one will hire those who need the jobs in order to better our circumstances, better our lives because of their prejudices and skewed mis-conceptions toward those of us on the streets-- They don’t want their ‘businesses to become tainted and soiled by our presence’, and thus run their customers off.

Food has become a precious luxury, a commodity to be bought and sold, not something seen as the essential and required need to sustain life. And for that life-sustaining resource called water, we’re left to our own devices. Forced to drink the metallic, rusty and sulfuric/chlorinated crap they actually refer to as water from the dismal drinking fountains that the birds use for their discretions. This ‘water’ doing more harm than good to our health, with the several thousand chemicals dumped into it everyday, claiming ‘they are treating the water’, when they are the ones the water needs protection from. They are the ones polluting the water with their very ‘treatments’.

Food-- That precious commodity not afforded to those who need it, but an essential ‘luxury’ we’re readily deprived of—

When Hunger Strikes…..



By Renee Bowen
Homeless Since Sept. 1, 2000
© All Rights Reserved 2006

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