New Year’s 2026
A New Beginning…
As 2025 has closed and 2026 is now unfolding,
I reflect back on the Quarter of a Century that
just ended. All I experienced, witnessed and went
through, all the volumes; volumes of which
could fill several libraries….
The entirety of this Century spent in the mere existence
on the periphery of humanity, on the streets, forced out
by and through the illegal actions of a despicable
landlord. Life has thrown me more than a few rough
patches, to say the least. My entire life hijacked
in the worst ways one could ever imagine.
That Temporary Street closure, looks like
it may be re-opening once again in the not too
distant future. And I am not looking forward
to any of it. Going back into the RAW of life.
Though, I am deeply grateful for the reprieve of being
off the streets, however briefly, with the in-home care.
It has given me a little room to BREATHE, but my
head remains on constant swivel.
But it will be going back out with no protection.
For so many years on the streets, that was the case.
It had only been the last few years of being on the
streets that protection came in the form of a vehicle.
Long since taken from me by and through the
actions of another, leaving me to pay the heavy,
hard price of their actions.
Having no lifeline and no mobility has imposed
great limits and heavy restrictions on everything
in my life, but even more so with what little income
I have coming in, which is partial SSI, supposed
to be full disability, but that is another way the
state and government screwed with me.
Battled them for over 16 years before finally being
approved, after more than a decade and a half of being
continually denied. They waited until the State disability
from previous employment had expired before finally
approving me for much less than what
I was fully entitled to receive.
Spoke with several lawyers, one of whom was referred
to me 3 times, all of whom refused to take my case,
telling me my case was too involved. Meaning they
would need to actually do some kind of work to earn
their hefty fees. None of whom were willing to do so.
And without transit to go to their forced “audits”,
where they shred and rip apart my life in every which
way they possibly can, citing it is to make sure I still
“qualify” to receive my income, when my status and
physical challenges are permanent and have not
just magically disappeared, nor will they ever.
Ransacking my life endlessly for
absolutely no good reason.
SSI continues its threats about stopping my only
source of income unless I go in person to their office
way over in Hayward. And it poses several challenges
for doing so; having no way to check my mail regularly,
for their required forced in-person audits that they send by
mail, except on foot. I cannot check my mail every day,
or every week, due to the distance and my being on
foot by and through the actions of another.
The impact of another’s actions rippling and
reverberating through every aspect of my life.
The New Year is supposed to be a New Start, a New
Beginning. That simply has not been the case. Finding
the help and support nowhere to be found. Having
doors slammed hard in my face, no matter
where I turn. Nothing there.
Being on foot makes it a real challenge trying to
take care of anything. My life forced onto the sidelines,
a permanent by-stander in my own life, which has
created a plethora of issues not being able to do
what I need to. There is a long list of things I need to
get to, that cannot wait indefinitely for me
to get to. Then having no one to help
no matter where you turn.
Checking my mail, grocery shopping, taking care
of essentials, going to appointments, volunteering,
donating my time and skills, or donating food that
I cannot eat or clothing that I no longer wear or
need, just to name a few things that being without
a vehicle not only makes more than challenging,
but impossible to take care of the bulk of.
Spending a great deal of time walking everywhere,
getting very little, if anything, accomplished.
Putting more miles on my feet, quite literally, than
most people do their cars, just to take care of the
barest of bare essentials; checking my mail, which
is about a 13 mile walk round-trip, grocery shopping
is every day, all week long, being able to only walk so
far and carry only so much. And that is only when
weather permits. More often than not, the grocery
trips are a huge waste of time, as the store,
whichever one I make it to, is generally out
of what it was I went for.
Something people simply cannot fathom,
that a Homeless person on the streets
for so long could possibly have anything to
take care of that is of any import. Yes, survival
takes center stage, and finding some place, any
place, to take care of the barest essentials
become all consuming, nothing goes away,
not the problems or responsibilities, it all just
gets rearranged and shifted to include the
additional ones brought on as a direct
result of being on the street.
Being forced to live on the streets does not
extinguish any problems, it just adds a whole lot
more to the mix; A much more challenging
mix to contend with.
Being without a lifeline and mobility, is
a prison worse than death.
Your life is suspended, permanently
suspended and cut off from life itself.
As the New Year begins to unfold, excitement
does not fill me, just a sense of dread while
struggling with gratitude. I am filled with
gratitude one moment, then Life crashes
into me and reality sets and settles back in.
Such a wonderful way to start the New Year!!
New Year 2026
