Sunday, July 2, 2023

The Bowels of Life...

 


The Bowels of Life...

 

Life on the Street

 

 

Living on the streets... means living in the sewers of

the gutters of life. When you are forced out to the street,

it is literally being sent into the Bowels of life itself. 

 

No crueler punishment.

 

Life being turned upside down, and inside out, going from living

to barely existing, in the shadows, and becoming shadowy statues

that no longer exist in any meaningful way, where you are not

allowed to be where you are, no matter where you happen

to be. Your presence is “Illegal” and your criminal activity

is merely being visible. Where you are hard to miss,

but easy to ignore, as we are not seen as

Living, breathing, Feeling Beings.

 

Days lose their meaning and no longer has any

value, as every day looks and feels like all the rest,

While Your very life becomes an Intrusion.

 

You witness, experience, endure things no one should

as a direct result of being forced to live on the streets. 

Living on the streets, you quickly become an afterthought

that is Beside the point. Those moveable, shadowy icons...

shadow statues, where Learning how to live when you are not

allowed to BE anywhere.  You the learn the fine art of

Invisibility, becoming part of the Scenery, blending in so well,

that it is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. 

 

Part of the Landscape, that was painted and sculpted

in place, losing your “Human” status when living on the street. 

For some reason, when you no longer have that Verifiable,

Proof of Living in a Residence, you are no longer seen or

Viewed as a Living, Breathing Human Being.

 

You literally cease to exist in the truest sense

when you no longer have those walls surrounding

you and the roof overhead. You lose your “Living”

status. Diminished, restricted, confining...

 

Invisibility has become my Specialty.

 

Collecting dust like a Shadow Box on the wall.

 

Yet, we are not to be seen or heard from.  You find yourself

searching for LIFE.... and how to find your way back inside of it,

and back inside.  But instead of finding your way back inside,

you find yourself sucked into a Black Hole that becomes

Vacuum Sealed that swallows you WHOLE.

 

You are blamed for things that have taken place, for what's

going on and happening or has happened... just being in the

vicinity is proof enough that we are to blame for the standing

discarded trash, the thefts, robberies, assaults, vandalism...

Discarded as waste, where the Human element

is completely removed.

 

You are repeatedly lied to by “Service Providers”, the police,

and organizations that are supposed to be there to help. 

Your integrity is always held suspect and questioned.

When anything happens to you and you report it, the

reports are “misfiled” and lost, discarded into the trash,

because after all... what do you expect “putting yourself out

here like that?” Yeah, like something I did, not something

I was forced into.  I did not choose to be out here,

 but have been forced to become a permanent resident

of the streets because of the illegal actions of a

despicable landlord, paying the price for his

illegal actions against me.

 

No one dreams of living on the streets, especially

not as a permanent resident, yet, those are the only dreams

I have now... living on the street because I have been out

here nearly half my life, and nearly a Quarter of a Century,

merely existing around the periphery of life itself.

On the exhaust fumes of Humanity.

 

You get sucked into the depths of the Black Hole

of the streets... Living on the streets takes a

tremendous toll on your body, heart, mind and soul...

in the most devastating ways that are literally

unimaginable, that is until you are living it and

experiencing every moment of it.

 

Living on the streets ages you decades.... long before

nature would. And does so, unsparingly. . I went from

being carded all the time, to automatically being given

“Senior Discounts” without knowing it until I received the

receipts and checked it.  It is one of the hazards of being

forced to live in a circumstance not of your choosing

and not having the rest or nutrition your body needs and

requires, but is readily deprived of. Everyone now assumes

I am a Senior Citizen, giving me 'Senior” discounts

automatically, never asking me if I am, yet continually

“carded” by the police just being present, minding my

own business and some jerk calls in on me for that

very fact, just being present and visible.

 

The challenge of finding restrooms to use...

of just taking care of essentials. Of finding food.

Safe places to stay through the night... is an

endless cycle that just loops and repeats, and

fully consumes every moment of your day. 

 

Being out in the elements every moment of the

day and all through the night, every day of the year

takes a tremendously hard toll on your body,

on your health, on your life and in all you do.

 

A permanent wardrobe is wrapped around you living on

the streets... but not of clothes. But one of Labels, categories,

classifications, etc. You are grouped as a whole that affects

everything you do and everywhere you go.  Living on the

streets colors everything you do. It consumes your life,

follows you in your dreams, while you live every moment of

your life on the Public's Movie Screen, where admission

is always free to the movie goers, at Our Expense.

Carrying the weight of Life, and your Life 

with you every step.

 

Your life and every facet of it becomes Public Domain. 

Where privacy has been completely erased in every

regard, no matter how private your business.  Everything,

absolutely Everything, you do is on the Public Movie

Screen of Life. Where nothing is off limits.

 

And your life is Swallowed Whole into and through

The Bowels of Life living on the streets.