Thursday, August 15, 2019

Birthday Reflections...



Birthday Notes to Myself....
Reflections of Life on the Streets



Another birthday on the streets…. Blending into just another day,
like any other… and a replica of the past 18 I have experienced
on the streets, outside, without a home.

August 15….

Birthdays, like Holidays, have never really held any meaning.
Especially when you have no one to share them with, and each and
every one of them are outside, by yourself, and there is nothing
memorable about them. It’s just another day on the streets,
and a day that is easily forgettable.

My 18th Birthday on the streets. And an 18th Birthday is supposed to
reflect and show that you have become an adult and are now afforded
more of what life offers, while you take on increasing responsibility.

An 18th Birthday is a Milestone and Turning Point in a person's life.
You are given the gift of becoming a contributing member of society, while
being allowed and expected to do your Civic Duties that are imposed on you
whether you want it or not; like being served to Jury Duty, voting
(which is a moot point, as votes are as worthless as expecting to 
grow rich by throwing money in the trash, and discarded while the 
Governments do whatever they choose, regardless).

In essence, you are legally liable for your actions, and for your life...
how you act, respond, and present yourself.

But this isn't that kind of birthday. Yes, it is my 18th birthday,
Living on the Streets, without a permanent residence, but not my
true 18th Birthday in Life.

I have long since passed that boundary of restriction to more freedom,
many times over. But an 18th Birthday.... living, breathing and feeling
every moment on the streets.

Rights that are guaranteed with our birth and the age of which our Civic
Duties take hold, are rights that are taken away from you and denied
when you have no “Verifiable Physical Residence” to prove you live in the
right place, and have citizenship, not to mention required to have
Utility Statements and Phone Bills going to the
Physical Address in your name.

Our rights to Vote DENIED because they require a
Verifiable Physical Residence”, which is highly Unconstitutional.
Our basic rights of a HUMAN BEING; the Rights to Shelter, Food, and
Clothing are nothing more than words without meaning when you
have no H O M E; no place to store, prepare or cook food, no truly
SAFE place to sleep without being disturbed throughout the
nights just for being present, having absolutely no privacy at all.

We are denied checkout privileges from the library because they have
now imposed different “RULES” about who they allow to check out
materials, and who they do not. Now in order to obtain or renew
your library card, you have to prove you have a
Verifiable Physical Residence” where a Utility Bill and Phone Bill and
Bank Statements go to a PHYSICAL RESIDENCE in your name.
Something you cannot provide, because you do not have
when you have no home.

When I signed up for the Library Card, that “Rule” was not in place,
and therefore I was able to obtain a Library Card. But they refuse to
allow me to renew it. My circumstance remains the same as when I signed up,
but now, not allowed to check out materials due to my circumstance.
Another Unconstitutional right denied and taken away.

But I continue to have DREAMS.... and a Continuation of Birthday Wishes....
I have DREAMS of a Life of Magic... A life that truly matters and
makes not only a positive difference in others' lives, but makes
a Beautiful IMPACT, the World over.

But when dreams and reality remain the same...
Dreams become just a continuation of waking LIFE. Life on the streets.
There is no separation. Having no place to go, nowhere to go or any place
to just BE....is NOT how I dreamed of life, my life, would be. And having
to live without a home is no way to live, when your life is barely existent.
I've survived and lived through things you cannot even imagine.

The horrible, ever-present theme of my life.... being continually denied
and refused any and all assistance.... and being denied my very identity
right from birth. Denied and refused my Birth right, my Heritage,
My Blood Type, who my birth parents were/are. Why I was given up.
Denied and refused any and all identifying information of who
I was or where I came from.

These are not the DREAMS I had ….

I had dreams of Presence.... Dreams of becoming a Detective
to help others, Dreams of making a difference in other people's lives....
Dreams of making the world a much better place for all.

I had DREAMS of a LIFE that MATTERED.

And those dreams did not include spending my Birthdays in 
oven baking temperatures of 100*+ Degrees, but my birthday will be one
of the hottest days of the year, and not in a good way kind of hot.

But spending yet another Birthday on the streets.... my 18th Birthday
on the streets, those dreams evaporated... like steam rising from the heat.
Heading into my 19th year Anniversary of living on the streets, life
without a home and facing my 20th Holiday and
Winter Season on the streets.

As Each passing birthday holds less appeal than the last.

Dreams now are no more than more of life on the streets...
I can no longer dream about what no longer exists; a real HOME,
a place of my OWN, a place to BE without the constant threat of
being disturbed and having the cops called on me just for the very
fact of having no place to go.

Reflecting back and it brings me right back to the very present.




Happy Birthday, to me....


A Life From the Streets.

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