Saturday, September 1, 2018

Residence on the Streets....18 Years




Residence…. On the Streets
18 Years and counting….


~September 1, 2018~



Life on the streets…. Just the mere thought of life on the streets, living
without a home brings a plethora of images; unwelcome at best, and are
more like uninvited guests that refuse to leave. When you live on the streets,
you witness and experience things that most people will never see, experience or
encounter in any way, shape or form, or on any level. Living on the streets
means you see everything about humanity…. The absolute worst of humanity;
the undersides if you will, the undersides of life; and some of the
best people you will ever encounter; From one side of the
spectrum to the other; the Good, the Bad, and
absolutely EVERYTHING in between.

This marks my 18th year anniversary of living on the Streets, heading
into my 19th Holiday Season on the streets, living without a home.
18 Years ago on this day, my life veered sharply off course and thrown
into the rough, choppy waters of life without a home as a
direct result of the illegal actions of a despicable
landlord all because I refused to “service” him.

There never should have been a single anniversary to contend with,
much less years and years of anniversaries like this.

When you live outside, 24/7, you are given a LOT of labels, none of which
are kind or loving, and assumptions and judgments are immediate and swift.
None of which are fact-based, but based solely on others’ opinions of what
they believe to be the case without ever knowing what it is they are
conjecturing, talking about or assuming. They don’t bother with the truth.

The things that are affected the most when you are forced to live on
the streets, without a home are eating and sleeping. Never knowing
when either will happen, where or for how long. It takes a hard toll on
your body and health in every way. They say “everything” happens
for a reason. But what is the reason forcing me to live every moment
of my life without a home, on the streets because I do not qualify for
the so-called assistance that are only there if you meet the stringent
requirements of addiction to drugs, alcohol, chemical dependencies, have
dependent children, are a senior citizen or are an illegal immigrant?

So my hands are in the air. I no longer know where to turn.
Where do you go when you have no place to go and the
system for “helping” is of no help at all, while it denies
and refuses you the assistance needed?

One of the hardest questions to answer when you are homeless is when
someone asks, “Where do you live?”. Because the answer is “I don’t”.
There is no home, no place to go. I don’t “live” anywhere…. But merely
exist all over, nowhere, anywhere and everywhere. How do you answer that?
Then they always follow with, “You have to live somewhere”. No, no you don’t.
When you have no place to live in any sense of the word, there is no
place to live. Being bounced around from one place to the next just
for being present. One city to the next, because you have no home,
and cops insisting your presence without a home, is illegal, while
informing you of their illegal and unconstitutional “City Ordinances”
for Homeless “Residents”.  Making it a crime to have no home,
regardless of the reasons why, it is irrelevant to them.

Answering “Where do you live?” generally begets an extended silence….
Before I choose to say anything. And of course, it depends on who is asking,
and why. But when there is no home, and you have no place to go, but
stay everywhere…. You have no residence and do not reside anywhere for more
than a night, or two… sometimes a little longer. Life is lived on the
move, 24/7, around the periphery of society, of Humanity.

Forced to live over there, not here… keep moving, not this place,
or this one. Becomes the draining reality of life…. Without a home,
without a residence…. And without a LIFE that matters to anyone.
Your life is stripped of everything and only the slightest residue of what
had been there is all but erased. And any vestiges of HOME….
Are only in your dreams, if even then.

Life without meaning… without purpose, becomes a life without end
and gives no reason for being. And yet, life continues on, regardless.

Hope, Faith, Love…. Become concepts of thought, that are no longer
present in life when that life is lived on the streets. Words…. Can do so much;
give a glimmer of Hope, keep you in Faith, and lift your spirits, fill you
with Joy, Fill you with Love… letting you know you matter, and words
can be used as lethal weapons that destroy and kill.
And when your life is lived on the streets,
you receive more of the latter than anything else.

Decades have been consumed on and by the streets…. Lifetimes, gone.
Watching my life… and every day thereof, being swallowed whole.
Living on the streets… turns your life inside-out, and upside down, as though
your life was dumped into a blender and set on high, then forgotten about.
Life without a home, without a residence… living outside, day-in, day-out,
every single day of the year, year after endless year Wrenches your heart and
soul as it squeezes and twists every last breath from
your lungs. Your days become a monotone of existence of more of the
same. A copy of the same photo multiplied a million fold,
and set on repeat. Becoming a Hallowed out version of a
partial apparition of a person.

Another Anniversary, and day and another year in the life of
the homeless. Set adrift on the sea to a life of nothing
and nowhere… but everywhere and anywhere.