A
New Loss…..A Blessing very short lived
After
more than a decade and a half of barely existing around the periphery
of life, of society….
Of humanity…. Of being forced to live on
the cold, brutal streets, I was blessed by being given a
vehicle,
albeit one that needed absolutely everything repaired or replaced on
it…. Literally, absolutely
everything from the inside out.
But, it was finally a roof overhead, which was the real purpose of
the
vehicle, the first roof I have had over my head in over 16 years,
that at least afforded me some shelter
from the elements, as well as
from the 2 legged animals of the human variety, was taken from me
shortly
after it was gifted on me, by the actions of an ill-trained,
new Starbucks delivery driver who smashed the
back end by pulling in
the wrong way, then trying to correct his position, destroyed the
only roof I finally
had over my head, taking not only the only
shelter I had, but my home, as well. Forcing me back out to
the
debris of elements, .... of human waste.....and various visitors of
the streets, once more.
Apparently, any kind of shelter or
home, in any regard, is not to be for me in this lifetime.
Perhaps
it was for the best, as I was just working on getting things taken
care of, bit by bit, and found a
great mechanic willing to work with
me… allowing me to pay what I could, as I could. Something you
just
don’t find anymore. But it was truly a mixed blessing, to say the
least, as I had a very difficult time of
trying to even get the
requirements of the law for it taken care of, or even to just be in
possession of it….
All the state junk like: the license, tags,
registration, smog, insurance….just for starters. And in the
process of all that, attempt all the repairs needed on it, little by
little, piece by time consuming piece….
until it was taken from me.
Seems my entire life has been a by-product of someone else’s
actions
against me, where I am left paying the price of what they
did, or have done.
It
was parked in a Safeway lot, and a new Starbucks delivery driver did
not know what he was doing, or
how to drive the delivery truck,
smashed the back end of my vehicle, my home….. and once again,
literally left me out in the cold.
The
insurance company refused to repair the vehicle from the damage
caused by the driver, citing that the
damage done was greater than
what the value of the vehicle was, so they totaled it out, and only
extended the barest minimum of what the perceived value of the value
was, barely enough to even eat on,
but not enough to put another roof
over my head, mobile or otherwise.
So,
I was blessed for the briefest of time, before that was taken from
me.
This
loss, yet Another loss, happened on December 5, 2015…. thanks to a
negligent, irresponsible delivery
driver who did not know what he was doing or how to park...more things
destroyed and taken away from
me because of his actions as he backed straight into my home... Leaving me
devastated in its wake.
My life has been filled with an endless array
of losses…. Each time, leaving a heavier feel in your heart,
wondering what is the point if the only blessings, the only good to
come about in your life, are
removed so suddenly??? What is the point
in living, when it has been made crystal clear, time and
time again,
that you life has no value, no meaning???? And certainly not
welcomed,
in any regard, no matter where you are.
You
become more and more resigned to what life has taken from you… as
it feels more like a life
sentence, a punishing life sentence that
you were sentenced to without being informed
of the crime(s) you
committed.
Things
become even more compounded and increasingly difficult to deal with
and endure when you
have no one to turn to, no place to go when you
are forced to live life... whatever your life is,
on the
streets….then when something happens to you physically, such as
food poisoning or like
your back seizing up completely on you out of
nowhere, as you are leaning over to brush your teeth,
or pulling up
your pants. Leaving you literally, fully and completely helpless….
Unable to move,
barely able to breathe, unable to dress, use the
bathroom, anything and everything…… there is
absolutely nothing
you can do when that happens, you are literally and in the truest
sense at the
mercy of life. The excruciating pain you are forced to
endure and there is
nothing you can do about it. Nothing.
Life…..something
that is taking the very life out of you!!
