Street Closure…
Nearly a quarter of a Century being forced to live
and merely exist on the exhaust of Humanity, on the
Periphery of life itself for decades before a door
finally cracks open and a temporary end to merely
existing finally comes about, then right back to
the grind of street life. Not a prospect to
look forward to, and I’m not.
Life on the streets is like being trapped and sucked
into a time warp, where the only thing that changes is
the weather, going from oven baking, blistering heat to
frigid temps and everything in between. Having no
place to go, where do you go?
Being forced to live on the streets is beyond
challenging; having to contend with how to live
and be without any of the things readily available,
but not accessible for people living on the streets,
that people take for granted, Laundry, Showers,
having a usable and accessible bathroom to do
your private business, eating, sleeping, finding
drinkable water, clothing, shelter….
The list is endless.
But like with anything in life, our bodies and
minds quickly adapt to whatever settings and
circumstances we find ourselves in, and it
becomes the Norm. And so common place, You
no longer think about the How's or the whys,
you just do and go about your business,
like it is something you have always done.
But when you live on the streets, your business
soon becomes everyone's business, regardless.
Your life and everything you do, everywhere
you go is always playing on the Public Movie
screen, where admission to the public is
always free, at our expense. No privacy,
no matter what private matters you
need to take care of.
And finally having a reprieve, albeit a
temporary one, is a Gift, and something
I am truly grateful for. But I find I am still
not able to let down my guard. My head
remains on constant swivel…
And as it unfolds more, giving me more breathing
space from life on the streets, I do not know if it
will make things easier or more challenging
when, in all likelihood, I will be forced to return
to the streets once the older gentleman I care
for and cleanup after has passed on to the
next life and his next journey. I do not
know how long my position caring
for him will last, a few days, weeks,
months perhaps…. Maybe longer?
Of course, there are pros and cons to the
position, pros and cons to everything in life,
but I try to count the blessings and positives,
though the cons do tend to greatly overshadow
the good and the blessings all around.
Focusing on the good is my goal.
Living on the streets takes a tremendously hard
toll on your body, your heart, mind and soul
in ways that are truly unimaginable.
The moment you find yourself on the street,
is the very moment you lose yourself, your
humanity and what it is and means to be
human. You immediately stop being treated
as a living, breathing being from others….
And become non-existent.
Becoming invisible in plain sight…
