A
New Year.... A New Hope
2018
A
New Year coming into play.... with it, the excitement of NEW, with
the residual
effects
left over from Christmas mingling the ends of one year with the
beginnings
of the New Year. As the New Year comes about, filled with
fresh
thoughts about what is to come.... lingering thoughts from the past
year
flood
your mind about what was not finished, and still needs attention.
So
at the end of one year and the beginnings of the next,
you
find yourself pulled in both directions at once.
I
have come to terms living life on the streets.... knowing that a real
home is not
meant
to be, and that my “home” will likely be forever outside. I
don't accept it.
But
I have long since come to terms with the fact (I have had to)
in
order to survive and still be here after nearly 2 solid decades,
that
the only home I will have will be no real home at all...
I will never accept being forced
to live my life on the streets all because
of the illegal actions of a
despicable landlord.
Accepting and coming to terms are
not the same thing.
The New Year is about New Hope,
New Beginnings, New Starts.... Faith that
things will finally be good....
that everything will work out. Looking forward
to a better year, a better space,
a better time. They say “Time Heals all Wounds”....
but I have never found that to be
true. There are scars deep inside that will
never be healed.... in this life,
or any other. Time covers up, and sometimes mutes,
lessens here and there, but it
doesn't heal, not in the truest sense of the word.
The meaning of which has long
since been eclipsed and morphed into
what is in Fashion and “trending”
at any given time.
There is always carry over from
one year into the next, and the start of the new year
brings about the sorting process,
kind of like the bins most homes are given to put
all their waste product into,
divided into different categories; waste/refuse/trash,
recycling, mulch/compost and so
forth. Sorting the past year out of the present and
discarding what no longer serves
any purpose, recycling/reclaiming things that you
need and are used, and making
amends, is how the New Year promotes itself...
I spent the last couple days from
the past year clearing out and releasing all life's debris
from this past year, as it was
definitely one of the worst years I have
experienced and lived through...
but as I released all the build up and residue
through writing and meditating,
processing and letting go in order to come into
this year fresh and open, I
realized how embedded and fully enmeshed life becomes.
Every year, I go through the same
process. Though, this is something I do every
day of the year, since writing and
meditating is how I process everything that happens
in life, at the end of the year,
it is more intensified and much more centered on
whatever is still lingering that I
have not been able to release earlier.
So I am ready for the New Year to
unfold and expect MAGIC and MIRACLES
to be a constant companion. A
girl can Dream. Speaking of Dreams....
A real home is forever on my wish
list, and eventually will come about, even if not in
this Life or in my Lifetime here.
I will have the H O M E I have so longed
for and dreamt about for the past
18 years.
Looking forward to the BEST ahead.
Happy New Year.... 2018
