Monday, August 15, 2016

Birthday Echoes.....

Birthday Echoes…..August 2016…


Another birthday come and gone, another one spent on the streets…..August 15, this marks my 15th Birthday spent without a home, coming into my 16th Anniversary of being forced from my home by and through the illegal actions of a despicable landlord, and heading into my 17th Holiday and Winter Season on the streets. This was not a birthday I looked forward to seeing come to pass. None of my birthdays have ever held any special meaning, even less so having to endure yet another one outside. Not something to celebrate. To celebrate means joy and happiness…. I cannot recall ever experiencing either of those at any point in my life, and not at all since being put out here. How do you get excited and filled with joy about life when you are not a welcome part of that life?

Spending your days and nights alone-- no one inviting you anywhere, no one trying to connect in any meaningful way, no one saying “hey, let’s hang out”. You find the world continues to spin….. whether you are in it or not. So birthdays, especially all the ones I have had to endure and spend alone out here, have not been anything I have looked forward to, or gotten excited about. Really, what is the point? When you are denied everything that matters….a life of substance, purpose, and meaning, your mere existence….. birthdays, like Holidays, become just another day to endure. Just another day with no meaning, no substance, nothing of import.

Birthdays become like echoes….. repeating after each other, time and again. And each following the one before…