Birthday
Echoes…..August 2016…
Another
birthday come and gone, another one spent on the streets…..August
15, this marks my 15th Birthday spent without a home,
coming into my 16th Anniversary of being forced from my
home by and through the illegal actions of a despicable landlord, and
heading into my 17th Holiday and Winter Season on the
streets. This was not a birthday I looked forward to seeing come to
pass. None of my birthdays have ever held any special meaning, even
less so having to endure yet another one outside. Not something to
celebrate. To celebrate means joy and happiness…. I cannot recall
ever experiencing either of those at any point in my life, and not at
all since being put out here. How do you get excited and filled with
joy about life when you are not a welcome part of that life?
Spending
your days and nights alone-- no one inviting you anywhere, no one
trying to connect in any meaningful way, no one saying “hey, let’s
hang out”. You find the world continues to spin….. whether you
are in it or not. So birthdays, especially all the ones I have had
to endure and spend alone out here, have not been anything I have
looked forward to, or gotten excited about. Really, what is the point?
When you are denied everything that matters….a life of substance,
purpose, and meaning, your mere existence….. birthdays, like
Holidays, become just another day to endure. Just another day with
no meaning, no substance, nothing of import.
Birthdays
become like echoes….. repeating after each other, time and again.
And each following the one before…