12 Years now....
Today marks my 12th year anniversary of being homeless and having to live on the streets, in the truest sense, and this will be my 13th holiday season coming up out here. It doesn't get any easier, the longer you are out here, in fact, it gets much harder to face another day. Remembering just to breathe and then wondering why I do. This has been a very difficult year to endure on so many levels. And yesterday I walked away from something that should have killed me when it happened. Changed the course of everything. It is obviously not my time to go, but wondering, time and again, why am I here? To serve what purpose? The questions keep piling up, yet the answers are nowhere in sight. I have come through the worst life has to offer, and still keep coming back for more. It's like I have become, or rather was already born, as the human waste depository and repository for all the bad crap. You get more dumped on you, when your residence status has changed, than anything else. How do you move forward when you have no place to go and no one to turn to? I have fallen through all the cracks, crevices and chasms of the system and feels like I'm just being erased further with each moment that passes.
Today marks my 12th year anniversary of being homeless and having to live on the streets, in the truest sense, and this will be my 13th holiday season coming up out here. It doesn't get any easier, the longer you are out here, in fact, it gets much harder to face another day. Remembering just to breathe and then wondering why I do. This has been a very difficult year to endure on so many levels. And yesterday I walked away from something that should have killed me when it happened. Changed the course of everything. It is obviously not my time to go, but wondering, time and again, why am I here? To serve what purpose? The questions keep piling up, yet the answers are nowhere in sight. I have come through the worst life has to offer, and still keep coming back for more. It's like I have become, or rather was already born, as the human waste depository and repository for all the bad crap. You get more dumped on you, when your residence status has changed, than anything else. How do you move forward when you have no place to go and no one to turn to? I have fallen through all the cracks, crevices and chasms of the system and feels like I'm just being erased further with each moment that passes.
